Letting Go!

Letting Go is one of the most important decisions one has to make in life. It can come very easy for me and I realize that it has been one of my greatest enemies. Since letting go reflects an inner resolve, it is very often misunderstood as you are giving up or turning your back.

Tomorrow can be a very frightening experience when our life has been filled with memories of past hurt and pain. It is very hard to believe in your own self to accept who you are and to understand what you portray to the rest of the world. It is easy to lose trust even if you spend years building it up; the mere fact that your "life acts" were inconsistent with your "life talks" can send shivers down the spine of anyone. Too often my life has done so and many people who are close to me are left to wonder: what next is he gonna do.

The challenge lies in being more integrated so that in the act of letting go you remain committed, you remain true while letting go of your EGO, your need for CONTROL of anything and anyone in particular, to rid self of the SELFISH motives and inclinations. As one would say you need to get rid of the crap that you allow to build up inside which always fronts you as garbage left unattended but spills out on an unsuspecting friend or neighbor.

So I am opening myself today to the possibility of laughter of really letting go while being filled with integrity, respect and love. It is about being honest that your past has been a reflection of what you are capable of tomorrow and that you should not be surprised that others we see such reflection and be afraid or move away from me. So too there are some actions that I know that I must struggle with that require a simple effort. I must learn not to be too ready: to impress, to flaunt responsibilities, to give impressions that I care and not follow through and more so to stop being so serious with life...to let go and laugh at life and to have fun rather than being so stiff, so uptight, so unavailable to those who love you and those you love.

Yes it is this main reason why I am always sending the wrong message....I never take time out to really listen although am capable, I never allowed the sound of the inner cry of that person to penetrate my inner self because I figure it would in advance and I bring up a defense particularly by doing the usual: letting go, basically isolating them, alienating them in the process. Am hard on people and I make it an excuse for being frank or forward and very often think an always right. I have made so many lives miserable yet am equally capable of bringing joy to the life of many. I fail often to do the right thing and end up making bad decisions in the process causing avoidable excruciating pain....

Teach me Lord that as I journey through this current experience, this stage of my life, that I will be able to let go not of the hurt coming across, not of the challenge of responding to others in need, not of the pain that I feel when others close to me share their pain and certainly not of love just because it seem that I am wrong or its does not appear as I may desire.....

Teach me Lord instead to Let Go and let you heal those who were and are being hurt through me, let my life which once carried your touch be illuminated again, burning brightly in being available for those in need of your love, your warmth, your embrace.

Let me be without so that others may have, let my sacrifice be an obligation to be like you to Love and not look for love in return.

Let me let go of my need to be appreciated, to be recognized, to be given gratitude, let me let go of my own hidden and selfish pride and most of all dear Lord I ask that you let me let go of my need to be judgmental, my defenses for fear of rejection, and my so ready to be talkative mode...

Let me let go of those countless empty words like what I have all written now...and be a beckon to act it out in real and practical ways, never be so inclined to count the cost rather than trust that you have provided in the past and will do much better in the future....that you hold today in your loving and caring palms.

Let me become Lord rather than always wanting to do.....Let me let go .....yes Lord, Let me let go and instead filled my heart with laughter so that those around me will experience what it is to be free!